Category: Evangelicalism

Oh, the Wicked Web We Weave…..

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Bits and Pieces I’ve Been Thinking About:

Get Your Stories Straight:

When you try to manage a tangle of lies like a fraudulent election victory, sometimes your mouth gets ahead of your brain, and you forget which part of the truth you are trying to conceal.  Anyone who’s gotten their car repaired knows that the parts equal more than the whole. So it is with keeping track of all the little lies that keep the Big Lie going:

Donald Trump on November 15th: “He won because the Election was Rigged.” Donald Trump, about an hour later, trying to eradicate the morsel of truth he accidently said: “He only won in the eyes of the FAKE NEWS MEDIA. I concede NOTHING!”

Headline-seeking preacher Robert Jeffress, writing for Fox News on November 7th: “If President Biden succeeds, we all succeed.” Later that week, perhaps Jeffress heard the murmurings of his congregation, and put his money where his mouth is mouth where his money is. He must have realized how lonely it can get out ahead of his Dear Leader, and he backpedaled mightily:  “We do NOT have a ‘president-elect’ until electoral college votes December 14.”

The Bible is consistent on truth-telling; lying lips are an abomination to the Lord. I’m reminded of when God was paying attention to Sarah’s snicker and denial: “No! You did laugh.” If you want to be a credible voice, you can’t disavow yourself by pulling a Yogi Berra-ism: “I didn’t say everything I said.” Just like you can’t take your words back, integrity and reputation can’t exist amidst dishonesty and deceit.

Do As I Say, Not As I Do:

“Some believe such a tariff would place a practical limitation on religious freedom.” The CEO of the Evangelical Christian Publishers Association was protesting that proposed tariffs on China would effectively amount to a Bible tax on Christians and religious organizations. Large Christian publishing firms outsource printing of Bibles and other Christian titles to Chinese factories providing cheap socialist – perhaps even slave – labor. Some estimate over half of our Bibles are printed in China. Bibles that Christians in China are not allowed to possess. The Southern Baptists, for example, publicly attacked China for its human rights abuses, while its publishing arm has a deep relationship with China. “What does that say about their Christian business principles?” What does it say about us? As believers living in the Land of the Free, flush with Shiny New Things – and Bibles – from China, we need to ask whether we raise concern for human rights only when it is convenient and good for the bottom line.

Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart:

“Boy, did we screw up!” After decades of deep-pockets funding of right-wing causes, Charles Koch has made his peace with the culture wars. He promises working towards “a better way forward” and “break down the barriers holding people back.” Seems like a Scrooge-like transformation is underway.

“My spiritual pain is unbearable. I keep having the same unsolved question: if my rifle took away people’s lives, then can it be that I… am guilty for people’s deaths, even if they were enemies?” In his twilight years, Mikhail Kalashnikov expressed regret for designing the AK-47. At age 91, he was baptized and thereafter called himself “a slave of God.”  Now a believer, he died repenting of the global killing machine he had created.

The Grief of Evangelicals

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While three days now following the 2020 presidential election, the dust hasn’t yet settled. Joe Biden already has won the popular vote. But with several states still tabulating, the electoral count is yet to be totaled – although Biden is on track to be sworn in next January 20th. Reasonable people are willing to see an orderly process following the rule of law. That means Donald Trump does the opposite; for such a time as this he files frivolous lawsuits against Biden-claimed States. His firehose of lies seeds doubt throughout his cult with fictions regarding corruption of mail-in ballots – but only where it hasn’t benefitted him.

Watching the reactions of evangelicals – using that term loosely – to this election, what comes to mind is how they are dealing with loss. In her 1969 book, On Grief & Grieving[1], Swiss psychologist Elizabeth Kübler-Ross identified five emotional stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Just as there is no typical loss, hers is not a tidy framework; emotions overlap. The Kübler-Ross construction is helpful in seeing how evangelicals struggle with the reality that The Anointed One is their single-term president:

Denial: Defeat had not penetrated their cognitive dissonance; even their best and brightest remain in denial. It would contradict God’s own will to allow something like this happen. “The Lord, our God, has sealed this election in the heavenlies,” claims Michelle Bachmann.  Charisma News calls for prayer to help the president, who is called for such a time as this, to cross the finish line. Some charismatic apostles have released angels to secure the election process. Just as many false prophets have gone out into the world, angelic reinforcements have come from as far as Africa to hand Trump the victory.

Anger. When somebody must be to blame, the search for culprits is always successful. And it’s best to start looking in your own backyard. Traitors at home poisoned the well. We’ve been stabbed in the back – the Dolchstoß – by defeatists in our midst.  These are our November Criminals. It’s perennial troublers of Israel like Jim Wallis. It’s the Never-Trumpers like Mark Galli. It’s people like Mark DeMoss who are disfellowshipped – or John Piper – who are dropped like a hot rock. Or voluntary exiles, like Napp Nazworth. Most of the guilt is laid on lazy, lukewarm Christians who just didn’t pray hard enough to get results. They are phony Christians, because supporting President Donald Trump “is a test whether you’re even saved.” Then there are the usual suspects: the Demon-crats, the God-hating Deep State, the biased media, and ad infinitum in ever-increasing circles. Blame issued to everyone – except themselves. Few will ever progress beyond this second Kübler-Ross stage.

Bargaining: Intercessory prayer has been around as a coping mechanism since Abraham bargained with God over Sodom and Gomorrah. God is not only hearing our prayers, but great power is being released because of our continued intercession. We’ve seen this play out with prayer warriors camped out at election offices. We need all hands on deck with deep intercession, especially for Pennsylvania because there is a spirit of death hanging over this state.

Depression: Few will admit this Kübler-Ross stage. Donald Trump is a winner. We are winners. We are overcomers. Victory sums up the gospel of Jesus Christ. If you’re depressed, you don’t have to “manage” it; you can annihilate it by reading the Bible and praying in the Spirit. “Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.” A normal response to frustration and anxiety is to repress it by lashing out; Kübler-Ross doesn’t a suggest a linear framework; emotional states overlap, and this root of bitterness can resolve itself in anger; including taking vengeance.

“If Joe Biden is named the victor in the 2020 election, it will mean the first coup in American history has succeeded.” It is a seditious effort by an antichrist government to sabotage the President, so Romans 13 can be thrown out the window. Egged on by Trump’s rhetoric, anger may intensify over the next few days, especially with Donald Trump shouting fire in a crowded theater. Get your guns ready for the impending civil warfare, one Media Christian advises. Another overtly recommends hanging them from gallows in Trump ties. He echoes the many Sunday pew-sitters who shout “lock her up” at Trump rallies.  More level-headed evangelicals have denounced violence from either side. In the sort of benign complicity described by Hannah Arendt, Franklin Graham and many others warning that the Democrats are coming to  “take your guns”, simply muse by casually suggesting that a civil war might happen.

Acceptance: Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. Trumpists look to a Resurrection Run in 2024. “You shall without fail recover all,” prophesies Paul White. Trump may vacate the White House, but he will live in the hopes and hearts of his cult followers. In whatever direction his future lies, he will monetize it, counting on a loyal Christian media to perpetuate his greatness. A Washington Post article draws ideological parallels to the Lost Cause myth:

Just as former Confederates relied on the press and popular culture to disseminate their myths, we might expect cable news outlets and right-wing websites to perpetuate his charges of “rigged elections.” MAGA and Trump flags will fly on private property along major interstates or highways, just as Confederate battle flags do today.

Michael Brown notes the chorus of charismatic prophets would be humiliated in a Trump loss. “Blaming it on the devil or fraud in stealing the election would seem immature or an excuse.” As with the prophets of Baal, “they were in an ecstatic frenzy, but there was no sound, no answer, and no response.”[2] Without a note of shame, one Charismatic wacko has already backtracked by spiritualizing her Trump triumph prophecies. What she really meant was a “landslide” of revelations.

Others have written this off as a moment of demonic false victories. God isn’t happy with what is going on right now. But in their Manichean view of the world, he’ll just have to wait his turn. Come 2021, people will be “forced to listen to the message of the gospel of Jesus Christ, they will be forced to reckon with the force of prophecy”.

But for now, people are asking, “What happened to your God?”

[1] Kübler-Ross, Elisabeth and Kessler, David, On Grief & Grieving, New York: Scribner, 2005.

[2] 1 Kings 18:29

You Broke It, You Own It

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November 3, 2020. This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Tomorrow is the beginning of the end of a national travesty. It’s a fresh morning for the least of these: the poor, the immigrants, those afflicted by the epidemic, climate change, racial or gender injustice, to name a few.

Trump’s insistence on a round-the-clock spotlight on himself has seen to it that the election is a referendum on himself. We have not voted on America so much as on a needy Donald Trump. It’s also a referendum on an evangelical Christianity that anointed him King of America. Evangelical media outlets have been puffing a Trump landslide and dissing Biden as demonic, ramping up a spiritual offense against the forces of evil seeking to win the election. If you followed Charisma News – not that you would ever want to – you would see the firehose of prophecy pouring forth, announcing Donald Trump’s anointed victory lap:

  • Hank Kunneman Prophesies Donald Trump Will Win 2020 Presidential Election
  • Trump Win Will Be Third of My Recent Prophecies to Be Fulfilled, Prophet Jeremiah Johnson Says
  • Sid Roth Predicts Trump Will Be a ‘2-Term President’
  • R. Loren Sandford Prophesies Trump Will Be Re-elected by a Wider Margin Than Expected
  • Prophetic Word: Trump Will Fulfill the Lord’s Will for US, Israel
  • Spirit-Filled Pastor Prophesies, ‘We’re Headed for the November Surprise’

They’ve made a huge investment in Donald J. Trump, except their trades are made in spiritual currency. Trump loses the election; they lose their moral credibility. They may not be on the ballot, but they likewise own the result. Perhaps that is why so many Media Christians embrace Trump. He’s come out of as many bankruptcies as they have. “I blow the wind of God on you.” Kenneth Copeland, another Luftballoon, last April executed judgment and declared COVID-19 destroyed. This is November, and here in the real world, Dr. Deborah Birx warns the pandemic is entering its most deadly phase.

Many evangelicals laugh these pronouncements off as performance art; the stock-in-trade of religious hucksters. Many others are nevertheless enticed by prophecies that are “a false vision, divination, a worthless thing, and the deceit of their heart.”[i] When I hear these false prophets come up short on their prophecies, I marvel that they are never held accountable. I always wonder, did God fail you, or did you fail God?  That question isn’t even an afterthought with this crowd.

“Losing is never easy. Not for me, it’s not,” says Trump. Neither is it for failed prophets, who never admit they’re wrong. Like a TV serial, each episode ends in a dangling cliffhanger which resolves itself in the next episode, and so on. One might assume there is some benign complicity on God’s part; he’s like the Divine parent who lovingly watches his kid get an occasional hit, but usually strikes out. There’s always the next game, Son.

I, for one would feel I made a total ass out of myself for fabricating words in God’s mouth, let alone a legacy littered with failed divinations. And then there’s the Bible, which condemns one speaking presumptuously in the name of God to death.[ii] That would seem to be quite a negative incentive. On holidays, whenever we went into a gift shop, I always hovered over the kids in fear they’d touch something we would be forced to buy. And just like Trump, these false prophets never pay for the things they break. They won’t own this one either.

[i] Jeremiah 14:14

[ii] Deuteronomy 18:20

The Robed Regiment Rides Again

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One of David Barton’s favorite historical fairytales involves black-robed, pistol-packin’ preachers who fought in the Revolutionary War. It wasn’t an organized armed “regiment”, but a loose collection of Colonial preachers. Its modern day counterpart was formed by Glenn Beck, a Mormon, surrounded by Christian nationalist (evangelical) A-Listers. “We are a modern day black-robed regiment network of churches”, the Patriot Church Movement announces. This independent group has a bog-standard evangelical statement of faith. But if you were to join, you’d also have to affirm both Jesus as well as right wing Americanism as core Christian beliefs.  

If you visited First Baptist of Dallas, you’d find a church that is welcoming, uncontroversial, and full of God’s love. They seem nice. But if you are a Democrat, Pastor Robert Jeffress says you have “sold your soul to the devil”, and they’d hang out the not-welcome sign. It was black-robed pastors, he says, who led the fight against tyranny. First Baptist is a patriot church led by a patriot pastor in all but name.

This sounds reminiscent of another robes and hoods movement that inveigled its way into the church during the 1920’s. One that stood for patriotism, old-time religion, and conventional morality: the Ku Klux Klan. To gain respectability, the Klan focused its recruiting efforts on civic and business leaders, politicians, clergy – local men of stature and influence. Suggestive of Trump’s “good people on both sides”, the President of the Georgia Baptist Convention declared in 1927 that the Klan was made up of “good men”.[1]  Jesus would have commended these men for their work, an Alabama minster wrote at the time. “I think Jesus would have worn a robe such as they use”.[2]

Hyper-partisan evangelicals and right-wing hate groups share a good deal of ideological polarization. Culturally, religiously and politically, these tribes often overlap in their Trumpist worldview of the tyrannical deep state. The distinction between Christian nationalism and white supremacy is that the black robes partisan evangelicals speak of waging prayer warfare in the supernatural realm, not actual combat in the visible realm. At least, so far…

Particularly given the rise of Dominionism – “the central unifying ideology for the Christian Right” –fringes of evangelicalism have been carried into the White House. The fever dream of Dominionists is an America taken over by warrior Christians, ruling over all aspects of society by biblical law. For example, partisan evangelicals may wish God would kill their enemies, or even advocate stoning God’s enemies to death. “I don’t believe it’s right for us to just be a vigilante,” said an Arizona pastor in the wake of the Orlando massacre. He added, “these people all should have been killed, anyway, but they should have been killed through the proper channels, as in they should have been executed by a righteous government.” Call it the hard-edged bigotry of alt-right patriotism versus the sanctified bigotry of theocratic evangelicalism – both are committed to the cultural maintenance of white supremacy. Unlike militant groups on the hard right, Christian Nationalist rhetoric has not sanctioned extra-judicial means to perpetuate it – at least yet. Let’s just say a sympathetic neutrality exists.

It may be criticized that I’ve lumped together Trumpist churches with disparate Christianish groups on the alt-right. I’m not making that argument. I’m merely pointing out there is little contrast in terms of religious faith and backlash Americanism. Insofar as robes go, there’s very little difference between black and white. They’re all very good men.

[1] MacLean, Nancy, Behind the Mask of Chivalry: The Making of the Second Ku Klux Klan, New York: Oxford Univ. Press, 1995,16

[2] Sanchez, Juan O., Religion and the Ku Klux Klan, Jefferson NC: McFarland, 2016, 57,

The Fourth Seal

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And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth. Rev. 6:8

Over President Trump’s term, Christianity had enjoyed “three of the greatest years since maybe Jesus walked the Earth”. We are still one week away from November 3rd, 2020, and there are strong indications the Chosen One of God will be unchosen by the voters of the United States. This, even though Archangel Michael, the captain of the army of the Lord of Hosts, has been assigned to “lead a team of fellow archangels to descend from heaven to achieve the victory.” They’ll  come in pretty handy, because according to the D.C. Police Chief, “(i)t is widely believed that there will be civil unrest after the November election regardless of who wins”. 

In the “supernatural realm”, nothing will change in Trump aftermath, because the Evangelical Industrial Complex has too many sunk costs waging the holy culture war between Good and Evil. Evangelical leaders depended on Trump – but not really. A perfectly wealthy Paula White told him she didn’t need his money. Like her, many megastar Christians have become millionaires through feeding their ardent followers with religio-political codswallop. “Winning” is relative where Trump is on the ballot, not them. They have their weaponized media to combat the enemy’s nefarious tactics, constantly reminding their vote-rich audiences that Satan will be fighting like never before in the days ahead. “There is also widespread belief that violence and anarchy are being organized and funded by powerful forces that are maneuvering America toward a socialist dictatorship”, writes James Dobson. President Biden is going to “hurt the Bible, hurt God … He’s against God”, according to Trump. We need to pray against those who refuse to accept Christ, according to one activist; “we pray God to take his enemies and rid us of them and destroy them.”

Juxtaposed against this is the apocalyptic evangelical persecution complex. Evangelicals have always functioned more effectively as a righteous opposition. And a volatile one, nourished on victimization. Franklin Graham warns that militant leftists are coming for you and your guns.  “I believe we’re going to see persecution in this country,” he warns. We have our backs to the wall and the spiritual battle is ongoing, no matter the election results. In addition to the usual litany of end times fear-mongering, a number of evangelical leaders juiced up on the Democratic demonic death cult predicted – or even encouraged – armed rebellion. “If the Democrats are successful in removing the president from office, I’m afraid it will cause a Civil War-like fracture in this nation from which this country will never heal,” Robert Jeffress warned during the impeachment proceedings – and Trump re-tweeted it. James Dobson intimates that violence and anarchy fomented by Soros-funded socialists may cause “another civil war”. Were Trump to be impeached, Jim Bakker warned in 2019, Christians would finally come out of their shadows and begin a second civil war. Trump’s vindication in the Senate was a further indication of God’s hand on the President. Undeterred, in their Plot to Steal 2020, the forces of Satan will try anything to win through treachery – deceitful tampering with ballots, fraudulent ballots from dead people, cyber-subterfuge, intimidation – and 1000’s of spell-casting witches.

Trump has never met a white supremacist – “very fine people” – he didn’t like. In a shout-out which many interpreted as tantamount to encouraging violence, he told a gun-toting, far-right group to “stand back and stand by”. “The only way we’re going to lose this election is if this election is rigged,” Trump declared, stoking fears he will refuse to accept the results. He cheerleads the chants of “Lock Them All Up”. But he was “having only fun” at a Trump rally – after thirteen people had been charged with domestic terrorism in a plot to lynch Michigan’s Democratic governor. White evangelicals attend his super-spreader rallies in droves, and share many of the ideological principles as their white supremacist confrères. They swim in the same ocean of disinformation, conspiracy theories and lies. Evangelicals love this “meanest, toughest, son-of-a-you-know-what” and his violence-exploiting rhetoric. Grievance-nursing evangelicals may not actively sanction armed rebellion, but they have a shared destiny where whites will come out on top. Their End Times narrative keeps them locked into it. Like Saul, they would watch over the cloaks laid at their feet. Rick Wiles threatened Trump’s loss would force him to stockpile to defend his home and church. “We’re in time for war,” Rick Joyner said, adding a vision in which he saw godly militias popping up like mushrooms.  “At the end of the day, the least you’ve got right now is in the low tens of millions of people who’ve actively prepared to murder their countrymen and in many were looking forward to it.”

“There will never be a peaceful transition of power under Donald J. Trump,” warned Michael Cohen. Get ready; the knives are out. Whoever did this to Donald Trump is not gonna get away with it.

The Greatest Years Since Jesus

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Suffer the little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.

According to Fox & Friends, the Trump administration has been “three of the greatest years since maybe Jesus walked the Earth with his ministry”

Here’s what people are saying about his Christ-likeness:

“I think I am a great moral leader.” – Donald Trump

Voting for Trump is voting Christian values: “For a Christian, it’s who they are as a person, what they believe, and how they act (in other words, their fruit) that’s important.” – Ken Ham

“I found a very caring man. I found a man who had more integrity than most people that I had encountered. A compassionate man.” – Paula White-Cain

Trump is a soft-spoken, kind man. “He watches Christian television: Kenneth Copeland, Jim Bakker, Paula White-Cain and others.” – Kenneth Copeland

“I believe he has moral character and that he is a man of God.” – a New Jersey evangelical

“Donald Trump lives a life of loving and helping others as Jesus taught in the great commandment.” – Jerry Falwell, Jr.

Trump has “a heart of compassion and love”. – Sid Roth

‘In all likelihood never see a more godly, biblical president again in our lifetime.” – Michelle Bachmann

“President Trump and Vice President Pence are the most Christian acting political leaders of our lifetime. However, Biden and Harris are the most Satanic candidates in USA history.” – American Christian Voting Guide

 

This isn’t about politics.

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“I’m not encouraging people to vote for Trump.”

“I am not asking people to endorse him.”

“This isn’t politics.”

“This is not a political endorsement.”

 “No, this isn’t a political event.”

“One thing I appreciate about President Trump,” remarked Franklin Graham on one of his Decision America tours. “He’s not a politician”. Posing as apolitical, Graham insists he is not telling anyone who to vote for, but these events occur like clock-work just before an election to gin-up right-wing voting. We’re just going to have people come and pray over a divided nation and for God’s protection over the president, he often says. He doesn’t outright tell people to vote for Trump, but he makes no bones about who he hopes the country will elect come November.

In 1972, Billy Graham intended to vote for his golfing buddy, Richard Nixon. But at least he pretended to be bipartisan, laying low until the end of a close race, so he could throw his support to Nixon more effectively. Unlike his father’s Crusades, however, Franklin’s events make no excuses about being thinly-veiled political rallies with a spiritual veneer, where a person can be converted by both the gospel and the Republican party.

As if to reinforce that marriage, the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association publishes its Special Election Guide, with a dire warning that “voters are choosing between two polar-opposite visions for America”. In 39 pages of fear-mongering hyperbole Graham wants to bring the country together with culture wars broadsides that are tearing our country apart. If you get through to the back cover, there is the obligatory Billy Graham devotional,. The rest of Franklin’s contribution of evangelical gospel is little more than right-wing footnotes

Franklin Graham says that Trump is not a politician. No matter how much he doth protest, he couldn’t say that with a straight face about himself.

Maybe your god is busy relieving himself

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So they yelled louder and, in accordance with their prescribed ritual, mutilated themselves with swords and spears until their bodies were covered with blood. Throughout the afternoon they were in an ecstatic frenzy, but there was no sound, no answer, and no response. I Kings 28-29, NET Bible

With less than three weeks before the 2020 election, all signs indicate Donald Trump will lose. Maybe even lose badly. Trump can still win, and that’s what garment-rending evangelicals are beseeching God to do again. “I believe this is a president who wears the full armor of God,” one impassioned evangelical exclaimed.  Evangelicals know they… er, God… put Trump into the White House, and are confident they (He) are going to do it again. God anointed Trump’s re-election – it would humiliate God himself if Trump were ingloriously beaten and embarrassed by God’s enemies.

Despite the out-pouring of supernatural expectancy, some evangelicals have distanced themselves from the President, and bleak headlines indicate Trump’s base is somewhat eroding. One Christian Reformed pastor in Michigan made headlines by resigning from his church of Trump partisans, observing that the “white evangelical community in our country has abandoned” its role as conscience of the country. Paula White warns that Christians will “stand accountable before God’ if they vote against Trump”. If you vote against Trump, Kenneth Copeland says, you’ll be guilty of an abomination of God. It seems like TV-obsessed, narcissistic individuals understand one another.

Trump can still win; he must win and he will win because so many Christians believe in the Trump Destiny. And we have learned who Jesus is voting for from the anointed visions and prophetic words given to various Media Christians. Of course, God had to inform Pat Robertson personally that President Donald Trump will be reelected. “At 4:30 (am), the Lord said to me, I am going to give your president a second win,” prophesied a Nevada pastor whose church was hosting Trump. Back from a visit with God in Heaven, a charismatic prophetess reports that a thousand special agent angels have been deployed from Heaven to insure Trump wins. Prophecy has said so.  

There is a fever pitch atmosphere of supernatural expectancy in this last stretch. And seeing how things aren’t going according to God’s plan, Franklin Graham called for an emergency nationwide prayer huddle to beseech the Lord. With Election Day looming, these prophets and high priests will be “yelling louder”, in an “ecstatic frenzy” to gin up the evangelical vote. God, destroy our political enemies, in Jesus’ name, AMEN.

I plan to watch election night coverage on CBN to see the shock and disbelief as they see the bad news come rolling in. And, of course, see the reactions unfold as evangelicals begin to comprehend that God repudiated the Chosen One.  With “prophecy”, there is always a back door. If Trump loses on November 3rd, it’s not God’s fault. It’s the fault of lazy Christians who didn’t pray hard enough for God to intervene.

Or maybe the evangelical god was busy relieving himself.

More Coronavirus Ironies

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Let’s Not Meet The Lord In The Air:   Televangelist Kenneth Copeland casts the threat of Coronavirus into his own brand of spirituality. “You get your tithe in that church if you have to go take it down there and drop it off or stick it under the door or something”.[i] He runs a high-overhead business funded by ordinary people sacrificing their paychecks. If his marks are broke, he’ll be broke too. Never mind you’re unemployed; you need to keep giving him the Lord’s money even if you may not see another paycheck for a long time. Maybe a better money-raising idea for him would be to put his fleet of private jets on the block. This is Coronavirus lock-down time; no one’s flying anywhere. As he once protested against his flying commercial – “This dope-filled world, and get in a long tube with a bunch of demons. And it’s deadly.”[ii]

Guess the Country Quiz: “________ have been put at risk by the callous policies of _____________ that values retaining power, protecting its image, and safeguarding its own economic, political, and ideological interests over public health.”[iii] If you guessed this was some rational person talking about Trump, you’d be wrong.

Pooping out Christian lawyers into an oversaturated market satisfies the Fundamentalist itch to save America. Liberty is the go-to pipeline to fill out the Trump administration; they have that working for them. Perhaps its best that the University preferred a law school over a medical college. Given the prevalence of anti-vaxxers, even if a vaccine were found, these tribalists probably wouldn’t support it. Being anti-science is a quaint religious belief, until it starts killing other people.

See how they love one another!  It’s been widely reported that Jerry Falwell Jr. is not shutting down in-class studies at his Liberty University, implying that the coronavirus outbreak only affects the elderly and infirm. “I think he is dangerously wrong here and seems unable or unwilling to recognize it,” an LU professor had the temerity to write.[iv] Brother Falwell is right one respect – mortality from the virus is more prevalent among vulnerable populations. And yet, any one can be an asymptomatic carrier – and we have no idea how many people have the virus but have not been tested. We’ve always been told that brotherly love is infectious. We’ll see how Typhoid Mary plays out in the Liberty dorms.

“You know nothing at all! You do not realize that it is more to your advantage to have one man die for the people than for the whole nation to perish.” Committed evangelical and Lt. Governor of Texas, Dan Patrick was speaking on behalf of all AARP-age people.  He said he and other American seniors would be willing to die from the coronavirus in order to save the economy. Patrick was mimicking Trump, who was mimicking Fox News. “My message is: Let’s get back to work,” he said. “Those of us who are 70-plus, we’ll take care of ourselves, but don’t sacrifice the country.”[v] Moral Triage: If the price is a few dead old people, so be it. Like the Nazis thought, they are simply “useless eaters” anyway.

David Brody now on Enemies List? As political reporter for the Christian Broadcasting Network, David Brody has had carte blanche access to the President. Maybe not so much anymore, after two negative tweets accused the President of providing “… false information about testing…multiple times! Invoking hyperbole in certain situations may be permissible but false statements about the #Coronavirus is sloppy & dangerous.”[vi] Does this signal an evangelical divorce from President Trump? No, but Trump will etch this disloyalty into his very stable genius. He never forgets a slight, and forgiveness is not in his moral vocabulary.

“What do you say to these beans? They’re magical. Plant them overnight and …”, Jack protested to his mother. Never mind that Jim Bakker can’t sell his miracle silver Kool-Aid any more. Now he’s peddling “some of the most common and powerful medicinal herbs that can be readily grown from seed”. You can buy a bucket’s worth of this medicine exclusively from him for $99. Or you can get a similar one on Amazon for $20. You have to hand it to Brother Bakker. He may be greedy, but at least he’s resourceful.[vii] 

[i] Michael Stone, “Televangelist Copeland Commands Unemployed Followers To Keep Giving”, Patheos, March 19, 2020. https://www.patheos.com/blogs/progressivesecularhumanist/2020/03/televangelist-copeland-commands-unemployed-followers-to-keep-giving/  (accessed March 23, 2020).

[ii] Jessica Chasmar, “Televangelists Defend Private Jets: Commercial Planes Full Of ‘Demons’”, The Washington Times, January 5, 2016. https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2016/jan/5/kenneth-copeland-jesse-duplantis-defend-private-je/  (accessed March 24, 2020).

[iii] James Phillips and Nicole Robinson, “Iranian Regime’s Reckless Disregard Made the Coronavirus Outbreak Worse, Daily Signal, March 20, 2020. https://www.dailysignal.com/2020/03/20/iranian-regimes-reckless-disregard-made-the-coronavirus-outbreak-worse/ (accessed March 24, 2020).

[iv] Marybeth Davis Baggett, “Dear Liberty University Board: Please Stop Jerry Falwell Jr. Before It’s Too Late”, Religion News Service, March 22, 2020. https://religionnews.com/2020/03/22/dear-liberty-university-board-please-stop-jerry-falwell-jr-before-its-too-late/  (accessed March 24, 2020).

[v] Jonathan Tilove, “Dan Patrick’s Coronavirus Sacrifice: I’ll Risk My Own Life To Keep Economy Humming”, Austin Statesman, March 24, 2020. https://www.statesman.com/news/20200324/first-reading-dan-patrickrsquos-coronavirus-sacrifice-irsquoll-risk-my-own-life-to-keep-economy-humming  (accessed March 24, 2020).

[vi] Sky Palma, “‘A Major Failure’: Evangelical Pundit Turns On Trump For ‘Confusing People‘ With His Coronavirus Lies”, Raw Story, March 12, 2020. https://www.rawstory.com/2020/03/a-major-failure-evangelical-pundit-turns-on-trump-for-confusing-people-with-his-coronavirus-lies/   (accessed March 24, 2020).

[vii] Hemant Mehta, “Jim Bakker, Unable to Sell Virus ‘Cure, Promotes ‘Make Your Own Medicine’ Plant”, Patheos, March 20, 2020. https://www.patheos.com/blogs/rolltodisbelieve/2020/03/20/jim-bakkers-at-it-again-chat-post-2/  (accessed March 24, 2020).

Random Evangelical Thoughts on the Coronavirus

~ phroneticchristian ~ Leave a comment

The President of a large Christian nationalist university wondered on national television if the Coronavirus was a Chinese and North Korean conspiracy, premeditated to make President Trump look bad. He echoed his political hero, who himself repeatedly pointed the finger at China for spreading the virus, referring to it as the “Chinese Virus”. By that logic, history books should be obliged to teach that the smallpox epidemic that decimated American Indian tribes be called the “White Man’s Pestilence”.

At that same large Christian nationalist university, its President reportedly remarked that students aren’t treated like family but rather “like customers”.[1] Suggesting that Coronavirus was a hoax perpetrated to undermine President Trump, he kept in-person classes open, just as students were returning from Spring break. The decision contradicted the advice of health experts on safeguarding students and staff. But the university was a business, and the students were not family – just customers. Your family is precious and you protect them, but you can always get new customers.

A well-known televangelist/telemarketer reportedly went on-air to say his silver concoction could kill pathogens like SARS, HIV, and some strains of coronavirus. The miracle elixirs disappeared from his television show after several states filed lawsuits alleging false advertising. Hawking a fake cure was only a sideline, and he fell back on his survivalist food buckets. It’s a win-win deal. He finally got the great disaster to move his Armageddon rations, and his prayer partner-customers could sit back and gloat, “the world is dying and we’re having a breakfast for kings!”[2] It pays to stick with what you know.

Despite the country teetering towards financial meltdown, the White House refused to postpone its rule change imposing strict work requirements onto SNAP, the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance. The White House projected that 700,000 would be kicked off the food stamp program even before thousands lost their jobs when Coronavirus measures took effect. Magnanimous display of empathy when unemployment could rise to 20%.

Wheat stockpiles are at an all-time high. The Government is sitting on a 1.39 billion-pound stockpile of cheese. Producers are sitting on 2.5 billion pounds of frozen meats. We’re running out of warehouse space to store it all. How is it then, that anybody in this country can go to bed hungry?

The average Fox News viewer is 67 years old. The average evangelical church-goer is 50. These are not normal times for the 55-to-dead demographic. It would make sense that pastors would be concerned that encouraging old folks to attend church invites them to get the virus and die. Not all of them get it. A pastor in Louisiana is not unusual in claiming the blood of Jesus would protect his church. He got the great idea of passing out “anointed handkerchiefs”. People could sneeze and cough their lungs out with no risk to the congregation.

In the midst of the pandemic, Florida tele-preacher and Presidential horse-whisperer Paula White made a pitch for $91 donations from her contributors. As she explained, she was in charge of a hospital – a spiritual one.  Meanwhile, sick people in Florida were headed into real hospitals. Many were losing their sources of income. Here’s a thought – why not dip into your millions and pay each of your congregants $91 instead. “If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacks daily food, and one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace, keep warm and eat well,’ but you do not give them what the body needs, what good is it?” James 2:15-16 (NET Bible).

Here’s another thought: If prosperity gospel is based on faith, it should work both ways. Tele-preachers call upon their audience to give in faith. The prosperity gospel should work both ways. The preacher should take a real step out in faith to accept only $1 lottery tickets. If he has the faith of a mustard seed, God’s blessings should flow over each prayed-over and mailed in ticket; same as cash! Such an anointing could rake in millions!

[1] Zachary Petrizzo, “Liberty University President Jerry Falwell Jr.: ‘We Treat Students Like Customers’”, Mediate, February 12, 2020.

https://www.mediaite.com/tv/liberty-university-president-jerry-falwell-jr-we-treat-students-like-customers/ (accessed March 21, 2020)

[2] Kylie Mohr, “Apocalypse Chow: We Tried Televangelist Jim Bakker’s ‘Survival Food’”, National Public Radio, December 5, 2015. http://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2015/12/03/456677535/apocalypse-chow-we-tried-televangelist-jim-bakkers-survival-food (accessed February 2, 2019).